The Burden of Kindness

by | Life, Psychology

I noticed when I was very young that the kindest of people were often treated poorly. Their time wasn’t sought after and they were often ostracised and given extra volunteer work that no one ever seemed to acknowledge. I also noticed that they often had self-esteem issues, and that they were under-valued in general, by everyone, including themselves. This truly made me wonder why. Some things I understand, like the human attraction to the excitement of NOT doing the right thing, or perhaps that person who says all of those things none of us dare to say being someone who helps us feel better about ourselves. I can ‘get’ this sort of thing, but I struggle with the regularity with which I see good, kind people surrounding themselves with people filled with negative energy. Of course, I don’t think they do this intentionally, or consciously, but I notice it so often it makes me truly worry about the state of humanity at times.

What made me think of this was a friend, blessed with the night off from caring for children (deservedly so I might add) was carelessly knocked back for a girls night with two close friends. I was deeply saddened for her, because she is such a sweet and helpful person. She’s constantly run off her feet, between her kids, her husband and household, and the constant run of foster children she has through her home. She has been truly kind to me, and thankful for my kindness also. I’m glad to have her in my life, yet apprehensive to say so. You see, it seems that too much kindness can either be treated with suspicion, or with a complete drop in consideration. The kind person will always put up with more. Etc. etc. yeah, I’m kind, but I’m over that. No longer do I let people stay, when they use my time in ways that don’t sit well with me emotionally. No longer do I forgive people who treat me with no respect, and having watched my mother take on people who constantly treated her poorly, despite her continued kindness over the years, I don’t allow this to happen to me, because for the most part, people don’t change. I still practice kindness, understanding and compassion, but no longer put up with negative energy from others, which devalues my kindness. It’s not worth my time anymore. Incidentally, for anyone wondering, kind people DO notice they are being left out, teased and taken advantage of. They are just too kind to make a thing of it.

Because of this, I often wonder if I’m setting my kids up for ill treatment by raising them to be kind.

Is there someone kind in your life? Do you treat them well? Are you kind and over being treated in ways that make you feel less?

If you would like to discuss the ideas in this post further, tell your story, or share your experiences, please join us on our Facebook page.
Please be respectful of others at all times. We are all on different journeys.

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