Not a Happy Camper

by | Life

This spot was the ONLY warm place in the near vicinity this weekend. I froze my toes off to attend winter camping with Charlie, because Taz, Chip and Dale all wanted to go. So I sucked it up and took one for the team, because sending all four without me just isn’t wise for anyone’s sanity, except mine, but I’m a mum, so my sanity lives last in the queue.

We have a camper and battery power. I also have a long term agreement with Charlie Brown that he does all of the cooking and dishes while we are there. Still… I just can’t love it…

It’s not just my spoilt childhood, in 5 star city hotels, travelling on planes from and early age, and a sense of worldwide adventure. It’s not even a negative opinion of nature. I’m good with nature. It’s good, pretty, tranquil, grounded etc. etc. Nature just doesn’t seem to like me.

I’m allergic to grass. The wilderness has certain elements which often cause my sinuses to swell, and I don’t cope well without creature comforts. My skin gets so dry it cracks (yes, I use moisturiser). My eyes got so dry when I initially began camping, that I needed eye drops. Now I just don’t stay by the campfire long. I’m not really a fan of being grotty. I didn’t enjoy that side-effect of having a horse, and quite frankly it doesn’t endear me to camping. Never mind that most really warm clothing and blankets involve wool (which I’m allergic to). I’m not a fan of smokey flavoured cooking, thus a campfire dinner is less then appetising to me, and I dint sleep at all well where lots of different noises occur. I used to think I was just a snob, had lived the good life, therefore not adjusting to the big change. It’s not that. My entire body rejects this place. The only thing I find at all soothing is the fire pit, and the stars on a clear night, but usually I see those on that unfortunate 3am journey to the port-a-loo. Mind you, I am grateful for the invention, and the improvements since. I simply refuse to go when the campsite has no toilet. I’m NOT digging a hole. I’m just not! Was forced once to walk out into the wilderness for my toilet stops, and I was seriously frightened I wouldn’t find my way back. NEVER AGAIN!

I’m not above sleeping in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I’d just rather be in a city any day. There are less bugs, more colours (except compared to sunsets, and that’s my dedicated love scene in nature), more people, more things to do, and no pesky grass, which I’m allergic to…

Where do you feel like you just don’t fit?

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