While I was relieved that Chip went to school, acting as a model student, and NOT treating his friends or teachers like this, it was heartbreaking to be met with his condensed anger every afternoon, often having experienced it on the way to school as well.
I’m spending time with actual physical presence of others, which is really good for the soul, partially because your body releases different positive chemicals when you interact with a person in physical space, even if you don’t touch. It’s also good because the type of feedback you get from others when you are physically with them is different.
Please tell me I’m not the only mum who could run screaming every time the time to cook gets close.
I did my honours thesis in Emotional Intelligence, and was surprised at how little
people understood about emotion generally, so was determined my children would learn about them.
From the end of that week I changed my point if view about obsessions. I welcomed them, using them for teaching, because they gave me so much: interest, incentive and ability for my lad to concentrate.
Unfortunately, setting up a predictable world, with structured activities and a full time schedule, (which is often the suggested way to raise infants these days), is creating a picture of structure and predictability. If this is where your child on the spectrum begins, their ability to adapt can be much less.
Being the primary carer for a child who expects the world to be a certain way is hard work, and often makes you the easy target for their anger. Blame is an all too typical issue with kids on the spectrum, and as your praise and cuddles might not be the source of comfort they are looking for, it makes a solid relationship difficult to establish and nourish.
Communication comes third, and this is not just speaking, listening, sign language or pointing. It encompasses so many things.
But ask yourself why you are wanting to change this behaviour. If it’s just for social/judgement reasons, or if it will truly enhance that child’s life.
Coping styles are a core part of our lives. Many of our current coping styles were unconsciously taught to us by our parents.